an anonymous place to exchange notes about alcoholism & addiction, meet sober friends and build your recovery network

An AA friend of an AA friend sent this to me. The author is a middle age man writing to his seven year old nephew.

--  

Hi nephew, how are you?

It was very nice seeing you over the holiday. Do you remember when we ate ice cream at Aunties and you asked, "How can h-e-double-hockey-stick (hell) be in the center of the earth when it is all just rocks and lava and stuff. That is what the teacher told us."

When you asked me, I did not have an answer for you. I am sorry.

However, I have been thinking about it and here are my thoughts.

To answer your question, let me explain my belief in God. God, I believe, lives in our hearts. But, He will only do so if we invite Him in. For many years I filled my heart with blackness. Then, one day I heard a knocking. I heard it before, when I was about your age, but ignored it so often I could not hear it anymore. Why I heard it again, I do not know, but I did. Some people say it is because other people prayed for me. Whatever the reason, I opened the door a crack to see who was there and a small sliver of light came in. I jumped back so as not to get burned, but I did not close the door. I put my finger in the light and it felt nice. It felt so nice I opened the door and let the light in more. As the light shone in, the blackness was replaced and I saw many thing in my heart that needed to go away. These things are my own bad behavior such as lying, fear and more. I have been collecting these things since I was your age. There is a whole long list. As the light shows more of these things, I let the light have them. I hold them up to the light and say, "God, take this please. I was wrong to think it was a friend. Please take it and help me be a good man."

God, being God, does take them away.

But, because my bad behaviors have been my friends for so long, I sometimes invite them back into my heart. It's hard to truly let bad habits go. I invite them back by closing the door in my heart to the light of God. When I do that, the blackness comes and the bad behaviors come out and start bullying me. I used to think their bullying was friendship, but today I know it is not. I wish they could be my friends sometimes, that's why I invite them back, but they cannot. It's not in their nature. They are like sharks. Sharks bite things. Bad behaviors make me feel bad. If too many bad behaviors show up at once, I feel bad - really, really bad. I become mean. I become unhappy and I do not like anyone, not even myself, especially myself.

Fortunately, God knocks again and I remember how nice it is to have God in my heart. So, I open the door again and give God my bad behaviors and I feel better and am able to be nice to those around me, such as when we had ice cream with your brothers at Aunties house.  

Now that you know my belief in God, I will explain how I think h-e-double-hockey-stick can be in the center of the earth even though your teacher says it is all just rocks and lava and stuff.  

We know the heart is just a muscle inside our chest. It pumps the blood through our system and helps keep us alive, happy and healthy. But, we also know God lives there if we let Him. You can prove this to yourself by taking a few minutes each day and sitting quiet and focusing your thoughts on your heart and imagine opening a door and letting God's light in. Try it and you will see. You will see and know God then. Myself, I do this at least twice a day, and sometimes more, especially when I feel like inviting my bad behaviors back into my heart.   Did you try it? Did you feel God in your heart?   Good.  

Now, with that feeling of God in your heart, you know that God is, but no science or teacher can prove it. You can only prove it to yourself. Given this knowledge that God exists in your heart, if you let him, do you see how h-e-double-hockey-stick could be in the center of the earth even though we know the center of the earth is full of rocks and lava and stuff?  

I hope so.

But, even if you do not, that is okay. You are a good boy, and so long as you let God into your heart, and do good things, then h-e-double hockey stick is nothing for you to worry about.  

Love, Uncle.